You’re Upset Because You Haven’t Heard From Him…Should You Pretend Everything is OK?
One reader has been feeling confused because she hasn’t heard from the guy she’s seeing who’s been out of the country on vacation for a month. She’s feeling disappointed and a little pissed because she thought they were really into each other and she had hoped he would find time to stay in touch. She’s not sure what to say when he calls.
To find your words, first start with finding your feelings. ALL of them.
Truth is, there can be lots of feelings happening all at the same time. We’re complex and that’s what makes us so wonderful! You could be feeling any emotion from terrible to elated and several in between.
Let’s approach this using an adaptation from some of Rori Raye’s wisdom.
Step 1: Tune into your feelings.
Ask yourself: How would it feel if he called? Track your feelings in your body. Where are you feeling it? How does it feel? Are you tense? Where? Are you feeling pain or discomfortant anywhere?
The key here is to really tune into where and how your feelings are showing up in your body. This is important because it helps you navigate through what feels good and what doesn’t so that you can learn to follow and trust what feels good.
If you find that your shoulders are tense or that your feelings are showing up in your body in an unpleasant way, this is where you can take extra special care of yourself. Soothe your tense body part by breathing deeply, and letting that part relax. You can actually give it permission to relax.
Notice what you’re feeling. Appreciate and honor every feeling that is showing up for you at the moment.
Step 2: Choose your voice and express yourself.
So, let’s say he calls…Maybe you’re feeling pissed, frustrated, confused, upset…
And at the same time, perhaps you’re also feeling excited, relieved, and “melty” hearing the sound of his voice…
So, what do you say when you’ve got all of these intense feelings swirling around inside you?
You get to choose which feelings you will give a voice to.
What will you say based on this concept? What could you say that would express your truth in that very moment without sounding needy?
Hint: You don’t have to express the most intense feeling showing up in your awareness at any given moment.
You want to BE confident and alluring. This is not something you can fake. You have to find those feelings in order to exude the vibe you want him to feel coming from you.
So, which feelings can you focus your awareness on that will magnify your confidence and allure?
Visualize what makes you feel unstoppable, beautiful, original, captivating…
A true goddess is a woman who knows she deserves to be worshipped with ALL of a man’s attention and devotion.
Step 3: Let go of the outcome.
Be who you are and do not be attached to the outcome. Let him taste the honey of being in your presence for a moment…no strings attached. And do not make it mean anything.
Appreciate any feelings that come up for you, loving them for being YOUR feelings.
Tip: Be the first one off the phone! Your goal is to leave him with a smile on his face and an image of you in his head. If you would like some help with this, let me know!
And a final word of advice…
I get that he isn’t stepping up for you the way he should be, but you don’t have to end it right now. Give him a chance to return from his long trip.
All things said, you need to be clear on your “rules for relationship.”
I want you to be so confident in what your ideal relationship looks like and feels like for you. I want you to fall in love with your ideal version of love and relationship.
My greatest hope for you is that you love what you love so sweetly that others can’t help but desire to be loved by you. Loving ourselves in this way is not a skill that most of us are just born with.
I know that through a little practice, guidance and “love” ANY woman can have the love of her dreams. I’m living proof!
If experiencing the love of a lifetime is what you’re dreaming of, whether that means repairing a relationship that’s gotten off course, kindling the spark of a new and budding relationship, or creating a vibe that attracts men to you effortlessly, I can help.
I’m ready to share all of my secrets with you!