Have you ever experienced someone close to you in your life – that special friend or family member who brings out the absolute best in you when you’re together?
For example, you find that you are your wittiest self when this person is around and you have and endless array of inside jokes that just seem to flow in a constant supply?
Or perhaps you are your most creative self and your best work or best ideas come to you effortlessly when he or she is present?
This type of soul-mate experience happens when we are connected to another person such that we feel completely free to be ourselves – authentically.
Ever notice that when you’re with your “tribe” – those people in your life who are closest to you – it feels completely natural to be yourself?
When you’re with your tribe, you can speak your mind without worrying what to say (or not say). You’re at liberty to express yourself naturally.
Being “you” feels easy around those certain people because you don’t have to try to be this way or that way in order to conform to what others may view as “normal.” You get to just BE yourself.
And the thing about it is they expect you to be yourself – they count on it really. The REAL YOU is the only you they want.
Question: How do you foster authenticity for those close to you?
Now, consider that you are someone else’s “tribe” in the sense that you are his or her place of safety and total acceptance. What does that look and feel like?
Is your man comfortable sharing whatever is on his mind, uncensored, or does he sometimes withhold (or hold back) to avoid a negative reaction from you?
If you’re not sure, then the answer is – he probably is holding back.
If you know he’s not candid and not openly engaging with you – he may be hesitant to share his thoughts. This could be true if he thinks you’ll judge him, or be hurt by something he says, or get mad and demand he change.
Men would often rather avoid conflict and they don’t want to be judged, criticized or asked to change.
It’s natural for us to want to be with and do for those with whom we feel accepted and fully free to be who we are. We all want a lasting soul-mate connection. We want to be understood…accepted…care for.
You can actually create this kind of connection with your man…and through the process, you will bring about a wonderful and satisfying connection with him where he is tuned into your needs.
If it’s so natural to have the kind of soul-mate bond we share so easily with certain friends and family members within our tribe, why do we often struggle to find that in our romantic relationship?
I believe the answer comes down to how we FOSTER AUTHENTICITY with our partner.
Are YOU creating positive moments and acceptance?
How do you foster authenticity in your relationship with your man?
Is it OK for him to be whoever he is…or are you still waiting for him to change?
TRY THIS! The next time you find yourself needing to have him show up in some “other way”– some way besides how he’s showing up for you right now, today…
Change your perspective…choose something else. (Remember, our reality is mostly made up of what we THINK is true…whether it is or isn’t)…
Try on, for a monent, that he is doing his VERY BEST for you…that all of his INTENTIONS are pure. He may not always know how to make you happy, but let’s say, WHAT IF he were always meaning to…
Then RELATE to him as though this is so….with your eyes looking into the soul standing in front of you…
A magical thing can happen…
When he feels you are engaging with him with no strings attached — FREE from judgment or expectation…
He will ENGAGE and CONNECT with you…
…and he will TUNE IN.
Love, Carrie xoxo
P.S. Please post your comments or send me a message! Let me know your thoughts and let me know how this works for you!