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Communicating When You're Upset With Him

“Dear Carrie:

Yesterday my boyfriend told me he wanted to see his poker buddies on Friday night.  But that’s OUR night.  We only see each other on the weekends because he works out of town during the week. It wouldn’t be a big deal, except he’s going out of town for a few weeks and I’m disappointed because I thought he would want to spend time with me before he leaves.  But instead he’s choosing his friends?!?   Should I be worried???  I’m afraid to say anything, but it feels like he has all the power in the relationship and I’m just supposed to smile and accept whatever he wants.”

MY RESPONSE:

Kathryn, I can hear that you’re feeling neglected and you’re afraid that if you say something, you’ll risk losing him.   

This is either a passing feeling of disappointment that you can easily move past when he does something right or something to make you happy again, OR it...

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When He Feels "Emotional Attraction" With You

I was recently contacted by a woman who was terribly upset because her man had just told her he loved her but didn’t always feel attracted to her. 

My heart sank for her because I know what it feels like to hear those words. 

The sting of those words wasn’t lessened by the fact that he was openly sharing about a conversation he’d had the prior evening with an old long-lost lady pal. 

As we began to peel back the layers of what happened, I could hear right away that he was a mature, thoughtful and loving partner, and that their relationship was clearly based on openness and honesty.  No matter to her, because hearing those words felt like a dagger through her heart and her most sacred dream – to be truly loved

All she could hear was “I’m unlovable…No one will ever marry me.”

In fact, she was so focused on his “sometimes I’m not attracted to you” comment that she almost entirely missed the ...

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Get More of What You Want In Your Relationship

How You Can Use Positive Moments To Inspire Him

Have you ever experienced someone close to you in your life – that special friend or family member who brings out the absolute best in you when you’re together?

For example, you find that you are your wittiest self when this person is around and you have and endless array of inside jokes that just seem to flow in a constant supply?

Or perhaps you are your most creative self and your best work or best ideas come to you effortlessly when he or she is present?

This type of soul-mate experience happens when we are connected to another person such that we feel completely free to be ourselves – authentically.   

How Authenticity Inspires Connection 

Ever notice that when you’re with your “tribe” – those people in your life who are closest to you – it feels completely natural to be yourself?

When you’re with your tribe, you can speak your...

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Are You Getting Your Needs Met?

Is He Mr. Right Or Just A Good Guy?

Have you ever dated a guy and noticed (almost) everything about him fit you perfectly, and thought

”How can I make him realize that we’re so perfect for each other?” 

Women sometimes have a tendency to idealize a man when we feel chemistry…such as the kind that’s sparked when he shows up with certain “Good Guy Traits” that trigger our feelings of attraction for him on a deeper level.   Problem is, when our “good guy” radar kicks in, our better judgment intinct sometimes takes the back seat.

Good Guy Traits…

“He’s spiritual.”

“He’s intelligent/intellectually stimulates me.”

“He’s kind.”

“He’s generous.”

“He’s a confident.”

“He’s fun and adventurous.”

“He’s sexy.”

“He’s passionate.”

“He’s masculine.”

...

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When He Makes Less Money Than You

communication dating Nov 24, 2017

How do you make it work when you earn more than your guy?

A woman recently came to me for advice because her guy was being a little difficult to read.  She couldn’t figure out if he was still into her or if he really wanted to end the relationship.  He was still calling her every night and he seemed like he still cared, but he just wasn’t stepping forward with a commitment.

He’s been pulling back, saying he needs time to get his financial life in order to be able to provide the life for her that she deserves.  But the daily phone calls and text messages are sending a different message.

Here’s what she wrote to me:

“He really poured out his heart to me earlier today while we were on the phone telling me how much he missed me but that he couldn’t let his feelings for me deter him from his focus which is being a provider.  He admitted to not feeling right as a man to not having his finances together as he wishes them to be because...

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