This post is inspired by a recent conversation I had with my 19-year-old son, Luke. He told me what makes a woman attractive, what makes a man fall in love, and why women get dumped so often.
ME: Tell me Luke…What is it about a woman that makes her attractive and irresistible?
LUKE: Well, I can tell you for sure what makes her UNATTRACTIVE. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if she’s clingy and co-dependent it’s a no-go. Men — well, I can speak for myself anyway — are attracted to beautiful, confident, independent girls who are fun to be with, but have a life of their own, with their own goals. Autonomy.
“The perfect girl is like a BUTTERFLY.”
ME: Ooh…butterfly. I like that concept.
LUKE: Yeah, that one word says it all. Think about it… A butterfly is a beautiful, delicate, unique creature unlike any other in the world....
Do you ever feel like you’re his last priority? Like everyone else in his life is more important, and you’re just an afterthought as he runs off to help this friend or spend time with that friend instead of spending time with you?
If this sounds familiar, here are 5 secrets about how men think and how to inspire a man to give you more of himself. More time, more affection, a deeper more intimate connection…
#1 – Be a warm, safe place for him.
He wants to be himself and be appreciated for who he is. He doesn’t want to have to worry about what you will think. He doesn’t want to be wrong, criticized, or judged. He doesn’t want to be seen as a disappointment or failure in your eyes. He wants to be with a woman with whom he feels comfortable to say whatever is on his mind, do what he likes, and know he has her approval.
#2 – Be a warm and soft place for him to land.
Why Men Pull Away
Here’s a question from “Lauren” about a common pattern that she keeps repeating that is keeping her from the love she wants.
Could you please help me understand what I’m doing wrong with men?
I think I’ve done the same thing with my boyfriend as with my ex: I jumped on their respective trains. I had expectations. With my ex, I abandoned my country, friends and family, my career, my hobbies and even my appearance. I feel I’ve done the same with my boyfriend. I wanted stuff from him and got really frustrated when he wasn’t delivering. So what do I do instead?
As women, when we fall in love, it feels natural to us to devote our entire lives to the relationship…sometimes to the point of losing ourselves. That’s where we can go wrong.
Instead of our steadfast devotion working to strengthen the relationship, it can actually work against us if we give up on the...
Aphrodite – Goddess of Love and Beauty
Known for her love of luxury and her love of men. Infinitely desirable. She is
, romantic and passionate. She attracts men like a magnet without saying a word. She is very loving and helpful, but can be easily provoked to jealousy by anyone she thinks is more attractive. She is not above destroying those who offend her. Aphrodite loves life and brings joy and happiness to others.
Artemis – Goddess of the Hunt; Moon Goddess
Very active and competitive. Independent, solitary. Social with those who are like her. She’s “pack” oriented. She’s unafraid, dutiful, capable and strong. She is young and pure. She is the huntress and can keep up with the boys. She’s tomboyish. She is a defender and protector of children and small animals. Think Katniss!
Athena – Goddess of Wisdom
“Am I wrong to feel this way?”
Need to ask a question that I hope doesn’t put me in the “shallow” category.
A guy I’m dating doesn’t have a car. He sold it a few months ago because he retired and decided that he couldn’t afford to keep both his car and his motorcycle, and the motorcycle won out. However, I don’t feel good about getting serious with a man who doesn’t have a car. He asked me out for Friday night (in addition to Wednesday) night to go to a live talk show we both like. And just texted me back asking if he could come here on his cycle, and we could take my car over to the film studio from here. (He rented a car for our first date, and said he had no problem renting when he needed to.) By the way, he got another job after retiring from his old line of work because he wanted some additional income.
I want to be honest about my feelings about this, but am leaning...
How to Go from Feeling Bad to Feeling Good
Have you ever felt so sad that you wondered when or if you would ever feel good again?
I was always somewhat afraid of my intense negative emotions. Afraid to feel them and certainly afraid to show them.
The reality is that along with the good feelings, sometimes the “bad” ones show up, too.
Here’s where we can go wrong…
Too often we try to ignore or deny when we’re experiencing one of those intense “negative” feelings. We’ve learned somehow that feeling those feelings is a bad thing or that feeling those feelings means we are flawed in some way.
Sometimes we’re afraid to show our negative feelings out of fear that we will push others away or that we will seem like a bad person.
So, the question is what can you do about it when the negative ones show up?
Instead of denying your feelings, stuffing them down, or ignoring them, EMBRACE them.
I believe we all have an inner goddess archetype who personifies our individual beauty as a woman.
Which goddess are you?
Maybe you can identify with more than one…
Click on the link to find your inner goddess type!
Write to me and let me know which one you are. If you don’t see your favorite goddess, let me know!